I Found Four of Them

There are three popular myths that always astound me. I've always figured that it took a lot of hubris and self-flattery to actually believe any of these three. I hate to burst your bubble, but here are the real truths:

1) Random child molesters are not interested in waylaying your ugly kids. If someone is molesting your kids, it's someone you and your child know, probably very well.

2) Terrorists do not want to kill you or your family. Unless you are famous or have done something to really tick somebody off (see government), no terrorist even knows you exist. How can someone give a damn about you either way unless they know you exist.

3) Government does not exist to protect you or your family (see #2). Government exists only to protect government.

None of those three truths need much explanation. You know they're true, but denial is a defense mechanism so you can go right back to your servile, cowering state in a few moments. First, though, I've got one more truth that the 34% of you who are deeply in denial apparently need to hear.

A March 2007 Pew Research poll that showed 34% of Americans agree with the statement, "most elected officials care what people like me think."

Look at the person on your left, then the person on your right. According to this poll, one of you agrees with that statement. That's a special form of denial that should scare the bejezzus out of the other two of you.

So, what kind of person acts on that belief? Via Crooks and Liars comes a story of four such individuals who really should know better. It seems that four former Judge Advocate Generals (two former JAGs of the Navy, one JAG of the Army, and an SJA to the Commandant of the Marine Corps) sent a letter to Senator Patrick Leahy, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

In this letter, the former JAGs express the insanely obvious - waterboarding is torture and Americans don't torture.

Now, those who express that waterboarding is not torture are another special class of people in deep denial, but that's not the point of this post (nor of any other; I won't waste my time engaging with these psychopaths). The point is, these four educated, career lawyers with plenty of experience in the asylum district of Washington D.C. actually think that Patrick Leahy gives a damn what they think.

For these four flag officers and the rest of the 34% of the American public in deep denial, I give you bubble-bursting truth #4:

Regardless of your family name, education, experience, or title, no elected official (or bureaucrat) cares about what you think unless you present them with a thick wad of $100 bills in a freezer bag.

You may now return to your river barge. Say "hi" to Cleopatra for me.