Dumbing it Down for NYT Readers

Smart Guy: If you do those things, bad things will happen.

Stupid People: Aw, go piss up a rope.

Government: Now, now. Smart guy is really smart, so we should definitely use his catch phrases. We can do all sorts of amazing things if we use Smart Guy's names for the programs!

Stupid People: Baaa. Yes, I would like a subscription to the New York Times.

Smart Guy: Changing the name is just plain stupid. If you do those things, bad things will happen.

Government: Nonsense! We're using the catch phrases. What could go wrong?

-- bad things happen --

New York Times: See? Smart Guy wasn't so smart after all!